We need to talk! Hearing these four simple words from your relationship partner never feels good. Your heart sinks, it palpitates.
Your stomach flutters, palm gets sweaty because whether our relationships are good, great, or awful, we do not like endings.
We do not like to lose things and especially we do not like to lose things that are important to us and that is relationships.
Relationships are the single most important thing to us in life.
It is the source of all our best and worst memories. When we will think ahead of our lives, when we will be ninety-five or a hundred years old; we are not going to think that I wish I had a better phone or I wish I had spent more time on the internet or I wish I had spent more time on work and sleeping. It is not going to be any of those kinds of things.
It is going to be “Oh! I wish I had spent more time with the people I love.” Because our relationships build us, define us, sustain us, and break us too.
Ralph Waldo Emerson says, “Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fail.”
Break-ups can be tough. The research is pretty clear; loneliness, depression, increase in crime and increase in drug use lead to experiencing loss of oneself.
In such a scenario, the only thing which we can look up to is a breakup counselor.
A breakup counselor helps or assists in understanding our true feelings and how fear, pain, and depression can be resolved by communicating.
All breakups suck and some are far worse than the others.
Counseling after a breakup needs to be adopted. The following things need to be kept in mind:
- One should remain positive-No matter, whatever happens, it happens for good. One needs to accept it.
- Use your energy for something productive like a hobby.
- Share your thoughts with your friends and family.
Female psychology after a breakup may be due to various reasons.
Female behavior during the stages of a breakup a lot to the stages of grief. Knowing this, you must let her go through this breakup grief.
Getting back together while she is still angry at you or about the breakup, will only put a strain on the relationship.
Once she can let go of her grief and go through all stages of a breakup, a woman can look back and analyze appropriately by seeing where things went wrong and if the relationship can be saved.
Also, therapy after a breakup or counseling after a breakup is the best resort which one can look forward to:
- Cut off contact at least for a while whether you are a dumper or a dumpee-It is not healthy to keep a tab over your ex.
Sometimes, you might want to be mature and remain on friendly terms with your ex. But you will not give yourself enough time to heal from the breakup. You should also consider trimming them from your social media feeds by unfollowing or muting their activity to prevent potential instances of jealousy, nostalgia, or aggression.
- Take up a new hobby-When you are in a relationship you have less time for yourself since much of it is devoted to your partner. On the other hand, when you are single, you can get to know yourself more intimately.
Is there a particular time class or hobby that you have always wanted to participate in perhaps; it could be animation, painting, puzzles, gardening, sports, a book club, etc? The possibilities are endless.
Learning anything new will boost your confidence and independence.
- Pamper yourself-i) Indulge yourself in junk food and movies since your ex will not be there to treat you anymore. ii) Take a vacation. Take a week or a weekend to relax with your friends and rejuvenate. iii) Take a spa day and rid yourself of the daily stresses that pile on top of your relationship loss.
- Be real with yourself-The breakup counselor or breakup psychologist would advise using your time alone to reflect on your relationship before the breakup though you may have positive memories of your partner and the time you spent together; it is important to remember that there were issues between you two.
- Vent to your loved ones-It is important to have a decent support system to help you through a breakup.
- Listen to sad music-During a breakup, your brain is attracted to sad music. When an artist, you have never met, can articulate your exact thoughts and feelings through words and sounds, it is proof that you are not alone. You are a human sharing in a human experience. It can also make us cry which can be mood-boosting. So, go ahead and listen to that breakup playlist on loop.
- Accept the past-If your breakup was less than amicable, you might be harboring some regret and hostility towards your ex. Take time to grieve but make sure that it does not consume your identity. Emotional grudges negatively impact your future relationships.
- Feel good about the rebound-Research shows that people who rebounded with a new partner after a breakup reported a better sense of well-being than those who stayed single for long periods. You need to heal before moving on; stay open to new possibilities.
Breakups hurt so much because you envisioned your entire life with someone else to the point where you have lost who you are with them. This is usually why couples tend to distance themselves because one partner loses who they are and they become dependent on the other and once that weight becomes too heavy, someone has to break.
You can always meet with a breakup counselor or a breakup psychologist.
Feel free to reach out to us for counseling and psychotherapy sessions from our trained psychologists, and psychotherapists.
